No, never heard of it….

Customer comes in looking for a book, they ask a co-worker (to be fair, a newbie) if we have it in stock.

Does newbie consult the computer? No.

Does newbie look around them to see if the book is on front-of-shop display? No.

Result: customer thinks we don’t have our No. 1 bestseller, and that we employ people who have never heard of Patricia Cornwell’s latest book.

Good thing I was there to sprint across with a copy.

And I wonder why I’m stressed?

Top 5 Silly Questions

1. Do I have to go upstairs to take the lift? (Yes, it only goes down. Then we stack books underneath it til it reaches the first floor and yank ‘em all out whenever someone wants to come down in it.)

2. I don’t understand what you mean about it being out of print. Can’t they just print me off another one? I’ll pay extra. (Er, not yet sir. Soon, maybe, but not yet. Try abebooks for a secondhand copy. Have you heard of the internet?)

3. Out of print, eh? Must be very popular then, if they’ve run out? (Er, no-one has wanted to read it since 1964.)

4. Do you have the book they were talking about on the radio yesterday morning? (Title? Author? Subject? Radio show? Radio channel? Throw me a frickin’ bone????)

5. Who’s winning in the tennis? (What are we, the World Service?)

Do you have the book I’m looking for?

It’s cream, and written by a woman…I think. I’m not sure.

Argh!

Welcome to my world.