Idiocy of the day
These are a few gems from one day in the pre-Christmas rush (that’d be today then).
Customer: How do I get to Ballinteer?
Me: (being extremely helpful, because it was early in the day) You can get a bus there from right up the road.
Customer: No, I’m driving.
Me: Er, we sell street guides to Dublin just over there.
Customer: I don’t want a sales pitch, I want directions.
Me: (speechless)
Thankfully another customer (the one I was attempting to serve before being so rudely interrupted) intervened and gave the woman her directions. Hopefully they involved driving off a pier.
Later on I’m at customer service, typing up an invoice, when I overhear two people talking loudly as they walk around:
Customer 1: I love books. How about you?
Customer 2: I really really love books.
Customer 1: I love them so much I joined the library. I’m so happy.
Customer 2: I love the library! I never buy books anymore.
Customer 1 (not to be outdone) Oh, neither do I? Aren’t libraries great?
Yes, libraries are great, and librarians are wonderful people. But if neither of them ever buy books, what are they doing wandering around a bookstore? Something amiss there.
And someone I could help:
Customer: I’m looking for a book I read, something about a roof and footprints and snow with a depressed central character.
Me: Would that be “Miss Smilla’s feeling for Snow”?
Customer: I dunno. I was rhapsodising about depression while under the influence of some illegal substances the other night, and it came into my head.
Me: Ok.
Customer: She really embraces her depression, know what I mean?
Me: Eh?
Customer: What does the cover look like?
Me: Well it’s had several, but one is a picture of a rooftop with footprints on it.
Customer: Yes! Yes! That must be it.
(Funny what strikes people about books. Especially while on drugs. He was a lovely bloke though and I sold him a few other books too.)
Customer: This may be a random question. But do you know what time the post office closes?
Me: (checking watch) They’re closed now I’m afraid. Usually close at 6. They’ll have a sign up with their times in the doorway.
Customer: Oh, damn. The GPO stays open late though doesn’t it?
Me: Er, I don’t really know (it’s 9 miles away from the shop – though I don’t say that). If you’re just looking for a stamp there are some shops around here that sell them.
Customer: No, I need to post a cd to my friend.
Me: Oh. Sorry.
Customer: I think the GPO stays open til seven.
Me: But it’s ten past seven now.
Customer: (getting annoyed) Well that’s a lot of use isn’t it??
Me: I’m sorry I can’t be of any more help.
What did she want me to do? Post the damn thing for her using some magic link-up with the (closed) post office? March up to An Post and demand (of an empty building) that they serve her?
We are a bookshop. We SELL BOOKS. No call credit, no movies, no music cds. We do what it says on the sign. Unless you want a book (or a magazine) don’t harass us. PLEASE!
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